Falling Angels, Lazarus Rising
by anitafaithfull
Summary: Castiel is hurt and in trouble, Dean, Sam and Ruby must help him. But first Dean has to start trusting the angel and the angel has to start trusting Sam and Ruby. HurtCastiel, HurtDean. Moved from lucytiger cause the account wasn't working - same author
1. I Can't Breathe

**Hey, this is a new one, hope you like it. Got a soft spot for Castiel, wanna see him in a few more fics. **

**Disclaimer: don't own nothin' would love Dean but would settle for Castiel. **

1. I Can't Breathe

Dean couldn't sleep. He'd been trying to for the past week but all that happened was he came face to face with everything that had happened downstairs. People said you couldn't remember pain but Dean would love to argue the point with them. He opened his eyes a crack.

The room was dark, outside was dark. It was probably only about three in the morning. He looked at his fluorescent watch. Yep, 3:03. As he was looking away from his wrist, the glow of the watch illuminated part of the room. Poorly, but enough for Dean to see another figure. The figure was shorter than Sam, slightly shorter than himself, lean and wearing a trench coat.

"Castiel."

"Hello Dean."

Dean sat up and swung his legs to the floor and turned on the light. He looked at the angel and was just a little bit shocked when he did so. It looked like Castiel had been through the wars. He had a cut on one cheekbone and a dark bruise on the other as well as bruises around his eyes and on his jaw, it looked like at one point both his nose and the corner of his mouth had been trickling blood.

"Jeez you look like you went ten rounds with a Wendigo," Dean said. "And lost."

"Well, you have your battles, I have mine. Do you mind if I sit?" Castiel didn't wait for a reply instead he immediately moved to Dean's bed and sat gingerly on it as if he was injured.

"Are you," started Dean, "I mean, can angels get hurt, are you gonna be okay?"

"As you know, the knife given to you by Ruby can kill anything evil," Castiel began but Dean interrupted.

"You know about Ruby?"

"Yes I know about Ruby. Her knife can kill and send to hell only evil beings that belong there. That's why it brought no harm to me. However, there _are _other knives in the world Dean," the angel finished. He winced slightly and brought a hand up to his ribs.

Dean gave the angel a concerned look and sat down opposite him on Sam's bed. Sam's empty bed.

"Damnit, where the hell is Sam?" he said looking around the motel room as if he expected to see his brother.

"With Ruby, 42 Maple Crescent. Do not worry, they are merely talking."

"Oh, I'm gonna worry alright, I can't believe after everything I told him before I died that he's still goin' around with that bitch."

"He had no one else to turn to," said Castiel, his voice had become strained, but Dean didn't quite notice.

"He could've turned to you, if you were around, then maybe he wouldn't have got so wrapped up with the whole, 'I'm doin' a good thing even if I'm exorcising demons _with my mind_,' Dean said, a slight amount of anger present in his voice. "You could've stopped him from going down that path in the first place."

"My orders were to help you to stop your brother. Not help your brother, Dean," Castiel said. "It is your job to stop your brother. And for you two to stop Lilith."

"Son of a bitch, when am I gonna get some goddamn answers, huh?" Dean couldn't control his anger any more. "All I get is, 'God has work for you' and 'you have to do this, and stop this', I thought angels were meant to be, at the least helpful, not dishing out orders and threats and offering to blow towns full of kids and happy families and white picket fences off the map."

Finally he stopped to take a breath. "How do you think I'm gonna be able to stop anything if you don't tell me anything? You knew about the Witnesses, you could have warned us, we would have been prepared and me and Bobby wouldn't have almost had our hearts ripped out from our chests. I'm gettin' kinda tired of things wanting to rip things out of my chest you know."

"Dean, let me explain, I can't"-

"You can't what, help me? Show me what to do? I'm fighting Lilith with one arm tied behind my back and blindfolded, you ain't helping much Castiel," said Dean.

"Dean, I can't"-

"What, give me a straight answer? I mean, why bother taking me back to 1973 if I couldn't stop anything?" Dean knew he'd been over this but he still felt a twinge of agony inside of him when he remembered his mother's face.

Castiel was silent as he waited for Dean to go on, the angel knew there was no point in arguing.

"Okay, now I know about Mom and the deals that Yellow Eyes made but what was the point if I couldn't stop any of it? Why make me go through the pain of seeing my Mom and Dad happy and young and hopeful when in twenty years they would still both be dead?"

"Dean, I"-

"I've had enough of all this crap, Castiel. I don't know if I can keep doing this. I don't care what you say, leave my brother out of this. Kill me, if you have to, send me back to hell. It would be easier to deal with than having to come back, remembering every single second of those four months and trying to act like normal around Sam, Bobby, everyone. I can't do this, anymore."

Finally he looked up at Castiel. He didn't know whether it was from his tirade or not, but to Dean's eyes, Castiel looked as if he'd turned a shade of grey.

"Cas? Castiel?"

"Dean. I…can't breathe."


	2. Holy Water

2: Holy Water

Ruby and Sam sat in a booth at a closed diner, deep in conversation. A girl was lying on the floor just a few feet away, dead, the ground around her was scorched slightly. Sam had exorcised the demon just moments before but he'd been too late to save the girl.

Ruby had no problems sitting next to a dead girl but in the back of Sam's mind was that old paranoia of his, that he seemed to not be able to save anyone at the moment. Of course the amount of people who had lived through the possession after he'd exorcised the demon topped the amount of people who didn't, he still had doubts about his abilities, especially when Dean-

"Sam, are you listening to me?"

Sam was jerked back to reality to find Ruby staring at him exasperatedly.

"Yeah, I was just…"

"Sam, you can't save everyone," Ruby said softly. "No one can. All we can do is try. You know that."

"Yeah, I just, I don't know if we're doing the right thing here, you know?"

"We've been doing this for months and now you tell me you got doubts?"

"It's just that, Dean told me…" he trailed off. He wasn't sure he should tell Ruby.

"Dean told you what? That he didn't like it? I know I'm not in your brother's fan club but we're doing a good thing here, we're saving more people than my knife ever did."

"No, it wasn't that, it…"

"Sam, what is it?"

"I just don't think"-

"Sam, tell me now or I swear to God, I'll"-

"Ruby, Dean told me that an angel told him to stop me from doing this," Sam finally said.

Ruby was silent for a moment.

"What?"

"The angel that pulled him out, Castiel, told him to stop me. Or…or they will."

"What do you mean they'll stop you?"

"What do you think it means, Ruby."

"Sam, I don't get it, I mean, okay you're using the blood of a demon to help you do this, but you're not killing innocent"-

Ruby suddenly cut herself off.

"Ruby?"

Ruby looked scared, she scanned the empty diner and stood up, searching the street outside trying to spot something.

"Ruby what is it?"

"I don't know, something big just went down. I can feel it."

"I can't sense anything," Sam replied.

"Maybe it doesn't pose a threat to you, but it certainly does for me. Which way is your motel?"

Sam pointed left, down the highway.

"That's where its coming from. You should go back."

"But Ruby"-

"I'm out of here, Sam. You'll see me when this is over. If you really have to have me holding your hand then call, but not if it involves any goddamn angels."

"Ruby, I don't"-

Sam turned to where she'd been standing. She was gone.

"Damnit," he muttered. He pulled the keys out of his jacket pocket and jumped into the Impala.

* * * * *

"Damnit, Castiel, what the hell?" Dean said after he'd caught the angel who'd slumped forward.

Castiel seemed to be gasping for breath as Dean laid him on his bed. "Stay there," he said, even though the angel seemed to be hardly able to breathe let alone move. He pulled out his phone and dialled the number. Bobby answered on the second ring.

"Bobby, where are you?"

"I told you I was on my way, boy, don't get short with me."

"How far away are you?"

"I dunno 'bout thirty minutes."

"Make it ten minutes, Bobby."

"What, why? What's goin' on Dean?"

"Castiel's here. He's hurt."

"Is Sam there?"

"No," said Dean, his eyes scanning Sam's empty bed.

"Have you called him?"

"Uh, not yet, no."

"Right." Bobby decided not to comment on that. "Alright, I'll be there soon."

"Wait, what should I give him?"

"I dunno, holy water?"

Dean hung up and looked back towards the angel. Castiel was breathing but having trouble and his breaths were short and laboured.

"Damnit, Cas, what the hell happened?"

"I told you," Castiel said, his voice hoarse. "You have your knife…and the demons have…their's."

"They've got a knife powerful enough to hurt an angel?"

"So it seems." Castiel started coughing, his body jarring with each cough.

"Goddamn angels," Dean muttered. He pulled his duffle bag onto Sam's bed and dug through it before pulling out his silver flask. He brought it up to Castiel's cracked lips.

"God, I hope this works. Drink this."

Castiel managed a few sips and that seemed to stop the coughing. However in seconds Dean jumped back as steam started to rise from Castiel's chest.

"What the…" Dean looked from the steam to the angel's face which was now scrunched up in pain. He was relieved to hear the rumbling engine of Bobby's Charger pull up outside.

"Uh…God please forgive me for this, I think," Dean muttered as he moved the trench coat out of the way and the jacket and tie and began to unbutton Castiel's red shirt. Hang on, Dean looked at the shirt again. It was originally white. "Crap. Bobby!"


	3. No, Not Him

3: No, Not Him

Bobby ran in through the unlocked door of the motel room and saw Dean leaning over the still body of a man lying on a bed, his shirt soaked in blood.

"Christ," he breathed. Then he remembered they were dealing with an angel. To hell with it, he thought they had an angel to help and he wasn't gonna sweat the 'saying Christ's name in vain' stuff.

"Bobby, thank god you're here," said Dean, clearly having forgone the 'Christ's name in vain' guilt a long time ago. "He's hurt bad."

"Did you try the holy water?"

"Yeah, it made him feel better but then his wounds started steaming and he was in pain Bobby," said Dean.

"There must be something demonic in the wounds," Bobby said. "How'd he, hang on, how the hell does an angel get hurt anyway?"

"He said that Ruby's knife kills anything that's evil and sends it straight to hell, and as he's not evil as such it had no effect on him," Dean explained, his eyes glued to Castiel's chest to make sure it was still rising and falling. "Then he said that there are other knives in the world."

"So there's a knife out there that can hurt angels?" Bobby asked incredulously.

"Yeah."

"And the demons have it?"

"Yeah."

"Crap. That's bad, look, Dean, I don't know how to fix this," Bobby said.

"We gotta try Bobby, he's an angel," Dean said as Castiel was racked by another coughing fit, gasping at the pain in his chest. Dean lowered his voice. "He's the one who pulled me out of hell, Bobby. I mean, I don't know where angels go when they die, but if he dies from those wounds, and they were inflicted by a demon, there's a chance that he's gonna get a one way ticket to the pit."

"Okay, I'll stitch him up but I don't know where to go from there," said Bobby.

"Here," Dean handed him his first aid kit.

* * * * *

Sam sped down the highway, the Impala at full throttle, her loud engine rumbling. He didn't know what to make of the whole 'feeling' that Ruby had gotten. He didn't know whether it was something that was just a danger to her or something that could be a danger to everybody.

He really didn't want to think about it and hoped it was something that wasn't happening in their motel room. He knew he was out of luck when he arrived and saw Bobby's rusted old Chevelle parked haphazardly outside the room.

"Dean?" he called as he pushed open the door that hadn't latched properly. "Bobby?"

He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw what was going on. Castiel was lying on Dean's bed, his face screwed up in pain, Dean was sitting on the opposite bed watching intently as Bobby calmly stitched the numerous cuts and gashes on the angel's chest. As soon as he stepped into the room, Castiel's eyes snapped open. They were a brilliant blue, although glassy and pained as they met Sam's brown eyes.

"No," Castiel gasped. "Not him."


	4. Both Sides Are Equal

4: Both Sides Are Equal

"Please, Dean, he can't be here, please," Castiel pleaded, to Dean he seemed truly afraid.

"He's not gonna"-

"Dean, please, I can't heal myself, I am as weak as you would be with these wounds," he begged, his voice scratchy. "I can see the demon in him, in his blood. Please, just get him out."

Dean took one last at the angel who was begging _him_ to do something then stood.

"Bobby, me and Sam will just be outside, okay? Call me when you're done."

Bobby just nodded.

"Dean, what does he mean?" Sam was cut off as his brother pulled him outside. "Dean, what the hell's goin' on?" he all but shouted at his brother.

"Lower your goddamn voice Sam, you'll wake up the whole motel," Dean said. He ran a hand through his hair. He didn't know what to tell his brother.

"Dean, what is going on?" Sam said.

Dean couldn't bring himself to look his own brother in the eye but he told him what was going on at least.

"So the demons have a knife that can kill angels? That's just great."

"Whoa, the demons have a knife that can _hurt _angels. Castiel ain't dead yet," Dean said.

"Well I guess both sides are equal then," Sam said.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we've got Ruby's knife which kills demons and now they've got some other knife that kills angels," Sam explained.

"Yeah, isn't that just peachy," Dean muttered. "Look, I don't know why he said that to you but"-

"Why do you think Dean?" Sam replied.

"Sam"-

"He doesn't want me around cause I've got demon blood in me, Dean. He's accepted that, you're still trying to make out that I don't, as long as I don't use my goddamn abilities, you wouldn't know. You're just trying to deny it Dean."

"Sam, I'm gonna go inside, see how he is. Wait out here and I'll try and talk him into the fact that you're not gonna hurt him," Dean said. Only after he'd said it did he realise he was going to try and talk an angel into something. His life was just getting more and more messed up.

Dean closed the door behind him gently and moved over to the bed.

"Okay, I'm done," said Bobby as he knotted the last stitch. Bobby stood up and packed the first aid kit.

"Castiel, how you feeling?" Dean asked softly, sitting on Sam's bed again. "And please don't say 'like hell'."

"Where's Sam?" the angel asked, forcing his eyes open to scan the room.

"He's outside," Dean said. "Look, Sam, he…he's not gonna do anything to you, he's only trying to help."

"I don't know that," Castiel replied. Dean was silent and looked away. "Dean, I told you I have my doubts about this. One thing I didn't tell you was that I have my doubts about Sam."

"You're gonna have to trust him, you know." Dean sighed and looked back at Castiel. "Who had the knife?" he asked looking pointedly at the stitched up chest of the angel. "Who did this to you, maybe we can find them and, you know, send 'em back to hell."

"In time, Dean." Castiel's eyes flickered, he was tiring.

"What do you mean, 'in time'? Who was it?" Dean demanded.

"Lilith…" He was tired, in pain and couldn't deal with the fact that a boy with demon blood was standing just outside.

"Castiel?" Dean placed a hand on the angel's lean shoulder, but Castiel was out like a light. Dean pressed two fingers to his throat, his pulse was fairly steady but not all that strong.

Dean opened the door to the motel, Sam and Bobby were deep in conversation.

"You can probably come in, he's passed out," said Dean.

The three of them entered the motel room and sat down on Sam's bed.

"What do we do now?" Sam asked quietly.

"We gotta move, we can keep a freakin' angel here," said Dean.

"I know a place, near mine, abandoned farmhouse," said Bobby. "I put some furniture and stuff in there, got the place surrounded by devil's traps and the like."

"Done," said Dean. "We need to go. Now."

He looked over at the angel. Castiel's eyes were flicking back and forth under his eyelids and he didn't exactly look peaceful.

_He couldn't see, his vision was blurred and red. He couldn't move. All he felt was pain. He looked up and his heart sank. Along with his faith._

_"Hello Castiel, long time no see."_

_"Lilith."_


	5. Look At Me

5: Look At Me

_Castiel was surrounded by blackness, he had no idea where he was. He felt something hot and sticky on his chest and found himself almost gagging when he realised it was blood. His blood. He had no idea how he had gotten here in the first place. It was so silent it was pressing in on him. Until he heard footsteps coming towards him. _

_"Hello Castiel, long time no see."_

_"Lilith." His voice was hoarse and it hurt to speak._

_"I remember you, I do," she continued. "I remember the way you dove into the pit and grabbed the one thing that I really wanted down there."_

_"Well, you have your orders, I have mine," he replied. _

_"No!" shouted Lilith as the back of her hand struck his face. His head snapped to the side and he tasted blood in his mouth. "Dean Winchester was supposed to stay in hell for eternity. I only got four months. I wanted much longer with my new plaything."_

_"You are sick."_

_"No, silly, I'm a demon. And I'm gonna have fun with you."_

"Dean, do you wanna take it a bit easy, man?"

"No, Sam."

Sam sighed and went back to watching the tail-lights of Bobby's Charger in front of them. He looked over at the speedometer and then decided he wasn't going to do that. He was just glad the highway they were on didn't have any hairpins.

"So, who did he say did this to him?" he asked Dean.

Dean swallowed hard, he wasn't sure he should tell Sam, wasn't sure if Castiel would want Sam to know. He decided to bite the bullet now and get it over with.

"Lilith."

"Lilith did this?" Sam asked, shocked. "How? Why?"

"I don't know Sam, probably because he's helping us," said Dean. "Not the first time someone's been rubbed out cause they've helped us." He sighed and relaxed his hands on the wheel slightly. His knuckles were white. "How's he going?"

Sam looked over onto the backseat. They'd laid the angel down on the bench seat and nicked a motel rug to keep him warm. Castiel was still unconscious but he was breathing. He was not serene, his eyes were still flicking back and forth under his eye lids and every so often he would whisper something that sounded like 'No'.

_"No, please, Lilith," Castiel pleaded. He bit back a gasp as he felt a burning pain on his arm._

_"Please? You're pleading with me?" Lilith laughed, a sound which made Castiel cringe. "You're begging me. Fantastic. This is fun." She ran a finger over the burn on his arm making him flinch. _

_"What did you do?"_

_"It's a binding link," said Lilith. "We put it on our meatsuits so that we can't get exorcised. Now you gotta deal with this body, until you get rid of that brand."_

_"And when will that be?" he asked. It was worth a shot. _

_"Not any time soon," said a male voice. A man walked up beside Lilith a polite smile on his face. _

_"So glad you could make it," said Lilith. "I was just about to get to the 'slicing and dicing' part."_

_"And who are you?" Castiel asked. _

_"I'm surprised you don't remember me, Castiel. You took away my toy. And me and Dean were just starting to get along."_

_"Alastair," breathed Castiel._

_"The very one."_

_"Let's have some fun, shall we?" said Lilith passing a black knife to Alastair. _

_"Oh, we shall," replied Alastair. _

_He took the knife and crouched in front of Castiel, who looked away. _

_"No, angel, you look at me when I'm torturing you."_

_"Go to hell Alastair," hissed Castiel. He didn't even see the fist until it hit his jaw. _

_"And that's what you get for being rude."_

_Castiel spat blood into Alastair's face. "I don't need manners for your kind," he said through gritted teeth. _

_"We'll see about that." Alastair dragged the knife across Castiel's bare chest. _

"Alright, we're here." Dean put the Chevrolet in park and opened the driver's door, slamming it shut after him. "You grab anything from the trunk we might need."

"What are you gonna do?"

"Get Castiel inside."

Dean opened the back door and dragged the angel gently out of the car before carrying the surprisingly light body into the house where Bobby was already lining the doors and windows with salt. Dean laid the angel on the couch in the living room of the old farmhouse.

"How's it goin' Bobby?" Dean asked.

"Good, this is the last one," he answered as he laid a line of salt on the sill of the window next to the fireplace. "How's he doin'?"

"Seems stable, he's breathing, heart's beating," said Dean.

"How's his chest? Any unnaturally fast angel healing goin' on?"

Dean checked. "Nope, no change." Bobby had washed away the blood and now Dean could see the full extent of his injuries. Castiel had numerous knife wounds covering his chest as well as the cuts and bruises on his face.

"Bobby I don't get it."

"Get what?"

"Well, I mean, if Cas was basically possessing this guy when he got all cut up then why didn't he just possess someone else who didn't look like a piñata?" asked Dean.

"I noticed something when I was stitching him back together," said Bobby, moving to stand next to Dean looking down at the angel. "On his right arm."

Dean gently picked up Castiel's right arm and rolled back the sleeve. A familiar looking, recent brand on his arm met Dean's eyes. "Goddamn binding link. Demons, man."

"But this one is more advanced," said Bobby, "I mean we wouldn't be able to just burn it off like we did Sam's."

"What?"

The two men spun around to see Sam in the doorway brushing away some of the salt with his foot. Beside him was Ruby.


	6. Kill Me

6: Kill Me

_"Please, leave me, kill me, I don't care…"_

_"You don't care?" asked Lilith._

_"Just stop. Kill me, someone else will take my place, will get my orders." Castiel looked up at his torturer. "If I die, someone else will still help the Winchester's stop the apocalypse. You know that as well as I."_

_"Yeah. So?" said Alastair. _

_"So why bother with this?" Castiel said. He was weak, and in so much pain. Blood trickled out from his nose and the corner of his mouth and a tear trickled out from his eye. That knife, it could wound him, draw blood. He had never felt pain in his entire life, over two thousand years. The demons had certainly learnt a few lessons in those years. _

_"Why bother?" said Lilith. "You seem to be forgetting something Mister."_

_"What's that?" he said, too weak to even look Lilith in the eye._

_"We're demons!" she said ecstatically. "And as I am on a break from my breaking-of-the-seals fun, I thought I'd start on my torturing-an-angel fun."_

_Castiel groaned softly. He wasn't going to get out of this easy. "Lilith, please, I can't take this pain, please just kill me," he begged. _

_"Uh…let me think…" she said, crouching down in front of him. "How's 'no' for an answer?" _

_Castiel could see her demonic face, could smell the evil and feel the power radiating off her and turned away, closing his eyes as another tear slipped out. He was going to die here…_

_With lightning speed she flicked the knife across his face, making him hiss. A new cut on his cheek started to bleed._

_"Shall we finish the job?" asked Alastair, smiling. Castiel could see the violence and madness behind the simple smile and recoiled. _

_"We could…" said Lilith. She brought the knife up to Castiel's throat. The angel leaned his head back, trying in vain to get more distance between the blade and his carotid. Lilith rested the tip of the knife on his neck and then slid it down to his chest. She started to twist the knife, it's sharp point drawing blood just underneath Castiel's left collarbone. "But I have a better idea."_

_"What?" said Alastair. _

_"Let's send him back. Back to Dean. Let them deal with an angel who's knockin' on heaven's door!" Lilith laughed. _

_Castiel groaned, he was either going to die here, alone, in the dark or he was going to die with the Winchesters, one of whom had demon blood in him anyway. _

_"Send him back, I think," said Lilith. "At any rate, we got work to do. Well, you have."_

_"What?" asked the other demon. _

_"You gotta find Anna."_

_"Anna?" Castiel looked up. "You won't find her before us. I swear."_

_"You swear? To who? God?" joked Lilith. "Your Daddy? Ha! I'd like to see you get up and walk, let alone find someone. Alastair, say goodbye to the angel. He's gonna go now."_

_There was a blinding flash of light and Castiel was in a motel room. On his feet. He grabbed the top of a dresser to keep his balance. He was dizzy from blood loss and in so much pain. Would Dean be able to help him? He had no idea. But he was here now and-_

_"Castiel."_

_"Hello Dean." _


	7. The Answer's In The Question

7: The Answer's In The Question

"Sam what the hell is she doing here?" Dean asked. He'd seen Castiel's reaction to Sam, he didn't even want to know what the angel would do if he saw Ruby while he was injured like this.

"I called her, we need help Dean," replied Sam. He crouched down to push the salt back into a line in front of the door.

"How can she help?" asked Dean. "We got an injured freakin' angel! Tell me, how can she help?"

"I don't know Dean, but four heads are better than one."

"He's got a point Dean," said Bobby. "She could lend a hand. Somehow."

"Exactly. _Somehow_. _We _don't even know what to do."

"Uh…guys?" Ruby was staring at the still body on the couch. Which was no longer still.

Castiel groaned slightly and brought a hand up to rub his eyes.

"Dean?" His voice was a hoarse whisper. "What is she doing here?"

"I don't know Cas."

Dean watched as the angel pushed himself up and swung his legs slowly onto the floor, wincing the whole time. He coughed softly and ran a hand through his tousled dark hair.

"What is she doing here, Dean?" Castiel asked again. He looked up at Dean. His bright blue eyes looked exhausted but not nearly as agonised as they had before.

"Sam?"

"I called her she said she might be able to help," Sam explained.

"Yeah, like the way Lilith helped to ventilate Castiel's chest," said Dean.

"Lilith," repeated Ruby under her breath. "Why the hell would she do this to you?"

"Why do you think Ruby?" Castiel asked looking pointedly at her.

"Okay, well I think I speak for everyone when I say we know she's a bitch," Ruby said. "What I don't get is why she would want to take out on you. All you've done is help them." She gestured to the brothers and Bobby.

"That's all I had to do," said Castiel. He took a tentative look at his chest. Some of it had healed but he was still immeasurably weak. "Ruby she had a knife…"

Ruby looked up sharply. "I've heard about the knife," she said. "Black, completely black, able to kill, well, anything."

"Maybe not kill, but she came damn close," said Castiel. "She remembered me."

"From when?" asked Dean.

"From when I pulled you out of the pit."

Dean looked at Sam then back at the angel. "Well I suppose that's a fairly good reason to want to carve you up."

"It wasn't just her either," Castiel added looking straight at Dean, "Alastair was there too."

"Alastair?" replied Dean, shocked. "I thought you said it was just Lilith."

"Dean, who's Alastair?" Sam asked. Dean ignored the question.

"I believe I passed out before I could finish what I was saying before," said Castiel. And then with a thoughtful look, said, "Something I'd never had the opportunity to experience." He paused. "Lilith was the one who got hold of me, I don't know how. Alastair was the one who did the most." He gestured at his abused chest. "He has quite a penchant for torture."

"I know," Dean replied softly.

"Dean, who the hell is Alastair and how do you know him?" Sam asked again.

"Look at your choice of words, Sam," said Castiel. "The answer's in the question."


	8. I Think I Know Who

8: I Think I Know Who

Everyone in the room turned to look at Dean except for Castiel who, in his exhausted state could only lean his elbows on his knees and keep his eyes on the floor.

"Dean, what does Castiel mean?" Sam asked.

"Thanks for bringing this up Cas," Dean muttered to the angel. "He's a demon. I met him."

"Where?" asked Ruby. The look on her face gave away her recognition of the name.

"Downstairs."

"Right so Alastair's working with Lilith. Well. That's just great, isn't it," said Ruby. She ran a hand through her dark hair nervously. She started pacing up and down in the old living room of the farmhouse.

The room was silent. Bobby and Sam were both letting the realisation that Dean remembered his time in Hell sink in. Bobby had silently decided not to bring it up. Firstly because he knew it was something that he was sure Dean wouldn't want to talk about. And secondly, because he knew for sure that it was something that Sam would definitely bring up later anyway.

Dean was silently deciding that he would definitely not want to let Sam in on the big secret of his time in Hell.

Castiel was silently wondering why Dean hadn't told either Sam or Bobby, someone he'd met not three hours ago, about his experiences in Hell. But more worryingly was the fact that he knew he could not answer Ruby's next question.

Ruby stopped her forceful pacing abruptly and turned to Castiel whose gaze was already firmly planted on her face.

"How did Lilith and Alastair get a hold of you anyway?"

"I was just thinkin' that," said Dean quietly.

"I...I'm not sure," Castiel replied softly. His eyes dropped to the ground.

He was ashamed to say he had no idea how he had woken up in the company of two demons whose only ambitions were to bring about the end of the world and let Lucifer walk free. Castiel was also slightly fearful of any punishment that might be coming his way after he had let himself get into that position.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked, his tone even.

"You just woke up and 'Got ya!'?" asked Dean.

"I don't...I don't know," said the angel, his gaze still downcast. "I was feeling strange and then it all seemed to go black and I was in that room...with _them_. I don't remember how I got there."

"Can I be the first to say, who the hell gets the jump on an _angel_?" asked Bobby.

"Alastair and Lilith wouldn't be able to," Ruby said. "I mean, even though they're more powerful than you"- Castiel looked questioningly at her- "hey, I know about the food chain downstairs. Any demon like me would be no match for you, but demons like Alastair and Lilith? They're pretty goddamn strong, let me tell you." She paused. "Another angel wouldn't have ratted you out would they?"

"I hate to say that, but it's what I'm thinking," said Sam.

"If Alastair and Lilith were to pounce you'd be able to call in reinforcements or whatever it is you have," continued Ruby. "But if another angel were to lure you in to them and keep the man upstairs' eyes the other way then they'd have all the time they wanted with you."

"To put it bluntly," said Dean. He was still mad at Ruby for even being here.

"I can't remember," Castiel repeated. "I don't even know where I was."

"It wasn't..." Sam started but cut himself off.

"No they didn't take me to Hell, I'd have known. I've already been there once before," said Castiel looking pointedly at Dean.

"Alright," said Bobby, clearing the air. "How bout we take a breather huh? We can get some rest and I s'pose Ruby can keep a lookout for us." He looked at Ruby's stoney face. "If you don't mind of course."

"Not at all," she said walking off into a different part of the farmhouse, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like, "Now I've got to babysit an angel?"

Castiel heard her. "Ruby you don't have to stay, I'm fine now, I"-

He cut himself off when he attempted to stand up. The wounds, albeit on the mend, still felt like they had baseball sized grains of salt in them. Demonic knives do that. Dean rushed to his side.

"I don't think you're goin' anywhere Cas," he said, lowering the angel back onto the couch.

"Thank you, Dean, I thought I was strong enough," he said through gritted teeth. "But these wounds, I've never"-

"Don't worry about it," said Dean. "Who'll take first watch?"

"Me," said Ruby resignedly. "Get some sleep, you look like crap."

"Takes a lot of work to look this bad, you know?" said Dean but still grabbed a mattress and brought it into the living room. Sam and Bobby did the same.

* * * *

_Sam watched as an unconscious Castiel, something he'd never seen before was held up by four demons, their eyes black with excitement. Even with the angel limp in their hands, their fingers still ripped his borrowed clothes and scratched his skin, the wounds steaming. _

_Two demons approached the angel. Sam guessed one to be Lilith and therefore the other must be Alastair. Sam studied Alastair's face. His face looked calm and peaceful, but the cruelty in his eyes scared Sam. He looked to the left of him and Sam noticed another figure, shrouded in shadows. _

_"Well this should be fun," he said, a smile on his face. _

_"I hope you have a nice time with him, he's become a right pain if you ask me," the figure said, his voice deep and strong, a voice that Sam knew. "Loves those mudmonkeys too much. When you're done, just send him back to them. Or you could just kill him, I've told you how."_

_"Decisions, decisions," said Lilith. She gazed happily at the angel. Next to the two demons and Castiel's betrayer, the angel looked small and frail as he hung lifelessly in the demons hands. "Oh Alastair, I can't wait! A little angel all to myself."_

_"I suppose I'll leave you to it then," said the third figure. He turned and at that very moment, Sam saw his face. _

_ * * * * *_

Sam sat straight up and gasped, awake immediately. "Dean," he whispered elbowing his brother.

"What?" Dean asked sleepily. He looked over to the couch. Castiel was awake.

"It's about Castiel."

"What about him? You got an idea on how Lilith and Alastair got him?"

"I think I know who betrayed him," Sam said looking up at Castiel. The angel's eyes met his and they were full of fear.


	9. Uriel

9: Uriel

Castiel sat up straighter his eyes pinned on Sam. Bobby was still asleep and Ruby had soundlessly appeared in the room.

"Well, Sam, you gonna tell us or do we have to guess?" asked Dean. "Because, although it is almost midday it is too early for me to start guessing."

"Sam?" Ruby asked.

"Alright, alright," Sam said, sounding even more tired than before he went to sleep. "I had...a dream. I'm not sure if it was real or not. Cas, were there about four other demons there?"

The angel nodded, his face unreadable.

"Three were white with dark hair the fourth African American?"

Castiel nodded again. This time his eyes betrayed a small show of fear as he remembered his time with Lilith and Alastair.

Sam took a deep breath.

"Spit it out Sam," said Dean.

Sam looked from Dean's suddenly alert face, to Ruby's curious expression and finally to Castiel's scared eyes.

"Uriel."

"What?" Dean almost shouted. "That goddamn son of a bitch! I'm gonna kill him, I swear to God I'm gonna"-

"Dean."

Dean was silenced with one word from Castiel.

"What? You knew?" Dean asked. "You knew it was Uriel? Aren't you guys meant to be like brothers in arms and all that crap?"

Everyone turned to face Castiel.

"He...he...Uriel dropped out about two weeks ago," Castiel said. "I thought something bad had happened. I didn't realise it was this bad."

"What, just fell off the grid just like that?" asked Sam.

"He stopped communicating with me, I didn't see him for a while," said Castiel remembering. "And then, the last time I saw him was before..."

"Before what?" asked Ruby.

"Like I said, it went black, then Lilith and Alastair, and knives and hot irons and"-

Castiel cut himself off. He didn't want to think about that.

"Well, now we got a new problem," Dean said dejectedly. "Not only are there demons out to get us, but there's angels out to get _our _angel."

Only Sam noticed Castiel look slightly taken aback but also positive that he'd been referred to as the Winchester's angel.

"Yeah, but don't forget you also got a slightly deluded demon out to get your demons," said Ruby.

"True," agreed Dean, for once forgetting his hatred of that particular demon.

"Why would Uriel go...uh, darkside?" asked Sam.

"It's a long story," said Castiel. "In short, I am his commanding officer and he has never agreed with me. If he got myself and Anna out of the way, I mean, if he killed me and Anna, then he would take our places. Top of the food chain. Or at least top of one of the food chains in Heaven."

"He would kill you so he could take your place?" asked Dean incredulously.

"Yes, I believe so," replied Castiel sadly. "At least now I do. In time we will see what happens to him."

"Bastard," muttered Dean. "How can you just be sitting there going 'In time' and all that crap?"

"Dean"- Castiel began.

"I mean, the guy played you! He set you up so that two goddamn demons could torture you and probably kill you."

"But they didn't," said Castiel, his fingers trailing a recently stitched cut that snaked down his left forearm. "That's all that matters. Now we have to"-

"Find that self-righteous, traitorous prick and rip his"-

"Dean, _enough_," said Castiel softly. Dean stopped at that one word.

"What? Uriel's still out there, we need to"-

"Cas, you mentioned someone called Anna," said Sam. It wasn't a question.

"Anna?" Ruby repeated. "Goddamnit! That was why I called you up Sam."

"Huh?" said Dean. He was just glad that Bobby was still asleep after all the shouting but what in the hell was Ruby going on about?

"Anna, that's why I wanted to see you Sam, you gotta find Anna," said Ruby.

"Why?"

"Because me and Uriel were supposed to stop her. They were our next orders," said Castiel.

Both Winchesters looked at Ruby and then at Castiel. At the same time they said, "Who's Anna?"


	10. Anna

10: Anna

"Anna was some girl that your angelic buddy and his friend were gonna kill as soon as they got their hands on her," said Ruby, no sympathy for Castiel in her tone. "But now that Uriel's gone all darkside on us I suppose we've only got to save her from him."

"And Alastair," said Castiel, he sounded exhausted.

"Alastair wants her too?" asked Dean.

"Why?" asked Sam.

"You wanna tell the story?" Ruby looked towards Castiel.

Castiel opened his mouth to begin then shut it as footsteps were heard walking into the living room. It was Bobby.

"God, you guys can make a racket," he said. "'M trying to sleep in there."

"Well, granted it is half past twelve," said Sam.

"Don't be smart with me, I just helped save an angel for you." Bobby looked at the Winchesters then at Ruby and finally at the aforementioned angel sitting on the couch, still looking weak. "Look you guys need me anymore? I don't mean to skip out on you but I was kinda in the middle of a job back in Texas. I really should get back."

"Nah, I think we got it covered," said Dean.

"Thanks for your help," Sam said.

"Thank you," Castiel added softly.

"Hey that's fine, how often am I going to gloat to all my friends about stitching up an angel?" Bobby joked.

"You ain't got any friends," said Dean a grin on his face.

"Well there's that lady down at the general store..."

Bobby grinned as he grabbed his bag and walked out of the farmhouse. They heard the familiar rumble as the old '69 Charger's engine turned over and waited for the sound to fade into the distance.

"So...Anna?" Ruby mentioned.

The brothers flicked their gaze back to Castiel who looked apprehensive at what he was about to divulge.

"Anna...Anna is an angel-_was _an angel. She fell."

"And you were gonna kill her for it?" asked Sam.

"We don't just kill people for sport you know," said Castiel anger showing for a split second in his blue eyes.

"Yeah, we know exactly how fun _those _kinds of people are," Dean murmured.

"She is...intercepting our communication," explained Castiel.

"What like an angel radio?" asked Dean.

Castiel ignored him. "She was telling people about the apocalypse, about Lilith and the sixty-six seals and about Lucifer being freed."

"Does she know why she's on your frequency?" Sam questioned.

"I don't think so."

"They had her locked up in a ward," said Ruby. "The Common Beverly Behavioural something."

"They _had _her in a ward?" Dean repeated.

"She broke out. Demon came in and was pretty intent on killing her," Ruby said.

"Right so we got a rogue angel and demons on our trail, we gotta find some chick who's picking up the angel version of Radio Luxembourg and we got a wounded angel on our hands," said Dean. "Could this day get any better?"

"It just did," said a low forceful voice. All of them spun around to see Uriel standing in the doorway.


	11. Are You Scared?

11: Are You Scared?

A lot of things happened at once. Sam and Dean both reached for the guns and knives they had stashed on them, Ruby stepped back instantly and Castiel froze, his whole body stiff.

"Well, look who decided to make an appearance," Dean snarled. "The holy sanctimonious prick himself."

"Looks like you got yourself a little army here Castiel," said Uriel. "A bit piss-poor if you ask me."

"Leave Uriel," said Castiel, his voice shook slightly.

"Why?" asked Uriel innocently. "Are you scared?"

"Should I be?"

"I don't know," Uriel replied. "When you think about how much pain you were in when Lilith and Alastair were torturing you, are you scared? Cause I have both the power _and _the inclination to send you straight back there. To that cold little room, with the demons and the chains and the brilliant black knife."

At this point Castiel was broken. His head was in his hands, he was shaking. "Stop, please."

"Stop?" repeated Uriel. "But I though you wanted me to leave? I think all of that torture messed with your head Castiel."

He took a step towards Castiel and both Sam and Dean stood in front of him. Uriel sighed.

"Mudmonkeys," he grumbled. In three seconds he placed one hand on each of the brothers' chests and sent them flying into the walls with ease.

Sam hit the wall on his back and slid onto a desk and fell from that to the floor, his weapons out of reach. Dean was slightly luckier. His left shoulder connected with the wall and he landed on the mattress Sam had used the night before.

With the two brothers out of the way and with Ruby not daring to attack the angel, Uriel strode confidently up to Castiel who was still sitting on the couch.

"I almost didn't believe that Lilith would have that much fun with you, but after what they told me, well, I thought I've got to try that," said Uriel. The other angel was silent, his head still in his hands.

Uriel grabbed a fistful of his thick dark hair and jerked Castiel's head up and was pleased to see fear in those brilliant blue eyes.

"Once I heard about how Lilith branded your arm so that you couldn't leave this vessel," Uriel said, a smile on his face and his voice cruel. His fist tightened its hold on Castiel's hair and Castiel winced slightly. "About how Alastair carved you up with his favourite knife. About how you pleaded with them. Oh, and my favourite part, about how you begged for them to just kill you."

He let go of Castiel's hair and the angel's head dropped back down.

"What are you getting out of this deal?" Castiel asked.

"Well, instead of being beneath you," Uriel spoke the words as if it were an insult, "I get to lead my own army beneath Alastair and Lilith. Against mudmonkey-lovers like yourself. Oh and next time we catch you, I get to do the torturing."

"Why not just kill me now, then?" asked Castiel weakly. "Just get it over and done with."

Uriel's hand reached out and grabbed Castiel's throat pulling him to his feet and then up a bit more so that his feet were off the ground.

"Because this is so much more fun," Uriel said, that smile still plastered on his face. "I want you out of my way. I _will _get Anna and I won't have you and your little minions stopping me, or Lilith, or Alastair. Do you understand?"

Castiel said nothing, merely nodded his head as his hands clawed at Uriel's to no avail.

"Good." Uriel gave Castiel's throat one last vicious squeeze before throwing him into the wall behind the two angels which promptly gave way as Castiel flew into the next room.

"See you all later," said Uriel looking from the shocked faces of the Winchesters to the fearful expression in Ruby's eyes. "Have fun with your angel."

And with that he was gone.

The three of them exhaled a breath that seemed to have been held throughout the entire exchange.

"Damnit!" shouted Dean. "Castiel!"

He jumped to his feet, thankful that his shoulder hadn't been dislocated when he hit the wall and ran into the next room, to find the angel sprawled in a heap, out cold after connecting with the wall cupboards in the kitchen and falling to the ground.

"Damnit," Dean whispered again. "Sam!"

The two of them got Castiel back to the couch and laid him down.

"Christ," breathed Sam thinking about the conversation they'd had with the rogue angel.

"I'll say," replied Dean.


	12. Rest

12: Rest

The brothers patched Castiel up again, not as much as last time, just a gash on his forehead and cracked ribs, but still, this was an _angel _they were stitching up.

"Why hasn't he started healing?" Dean asked.

"I'm not sure but I think the brand on his arm and the demonic knife that Alastair and Lilith used just made him weak and then to torture him on top of all that..." Sam trailed off as he looked down at Castiel, still unconscious on the couch.

"Sam, we need to get Anna," said Ruby standing off to one side.

"What? We can't leave Castiel here so that he can get a surprise visit from Alastair," said Dean. "Or Uriel again."

"You stay here," said Sam. "We'll get Anna, bring her back here."

"You can't go by yourself Sam."

"I'm going with him," said Ruby. "Now if you guys would like to stop fighting, there's a fallen angel we gotta save."

"Fine, you go," said Dean. "I'll stay with Cas."

Sam grabbed the duffle bag and left the farmhouse. Dean could hear his beloved Impala's engine start but not turn over. The second time the engine caught and Dean shook his head.

"You gotta feed it a bit of gas when you turn the key Sammy," he whispered to no one in particular. You'd think that after four months of driving the car had Sam pretty clued in on what made the old Chevrolet tick, but no.

As he heard the tires squeal as Sam took a corner too fast, Dean decided to get a drink. He walked into the kitchen of the farmhouse and pulled out a glass and filled it was tap water. He started to go back into the lounge room but stopped and filled another glass for Castiel when he woke up. If he woke up.

Dean came back into the lounge room and sat down on the end of the couch that wasn't occupied by the angel's unconscious form.

"I don't think we could cope with any more visits from your friends," he grumbled.

"Too...true," said a scratchy voice.

Dean jumped and turned to the angel.

"Cas? You still kickin' over there?"

Castiel opened one tired blue eye and then the other and looked at Dean in confusion. "I don't think I was kicking before," he said trying to make some sense of what Dean had said.

"Doesn't matter," Dean said quickly. He reached over to check Castiel's pulse.

"What...what are you doing Dean?" Castiel asked.

"Is your vision blurred?"

"I...don't think so. Why?"

"Have you got a mother of a migraine?" Dean questioned.

"A...what?"

"Does your head hurt?"

"Yes," said Castiel. "Why are you asking me all of these questions?"

"Well, last time you showed up," said Dean, "you were basically dead on your feet and you didn't tell me until five seconds before you keeled over. So this time I'm being proactive. Anything else hurt?"

"Just...just my ribs."

Dean gently prodded the ribs on the left side of Castiel's body making the angel gasp. "Dean, what"- Castiel hissed as Dean felt another rib –"what are you doing, you're just making it worse."

"They're cracked. I just thought I'd find out which ones," explained Dean. He looked up at Castiel's face, the angel's jaw clenched in pain. "Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know."

They sat in silence for a moment then Castiel looked up at Dean.

"I'm sorry for bringing all of this onto you," he said. "You already have too much to worry about."

"S'nothin' I can't handle," said Dean. He passed Castiel the glass of water. "Drink this. It might dull the headache a bit."

"What do you mean?" asked Castiel reluctant to take the glass. He had a fair idea of what Dean did when he was in pain. And it usually involved something liquid or pills. "Is there something..."

"I'm not givin' you painkillers Cas," said Dean with a small smile. "I don't even know if they'd work, it's just water."

Castiel took the glass and drank the water slowly before passing the empty glass back to Dean. It was at that moment that it occurred to him that the demon and the other Winchester weren't in the house.

"Where's your brother?" he asked.

"He's gone to find Anna. They're gonna bring her back here," said Dean.

"Oh."

"What?" Dean hadn't missed the slight change in Castiel's voice.

"It's just..." He paused.

"_What_?"

"Don't worry Dean," said Castiel. Finally after the angel's resolve and calm demeanour had been broken down by his pain and torture, the walls that kept his emotions intact had rocketed back up again. "It is not your concern."

Dean sighed. "Fine. Just...can you heal yourself?"

"I can try, it will alert my presence to any other demons or angels nearby, however," the angel replied reluctantly.

"Even if they've gone darkside?" Dean asked, referring to any angels that shared the same characteristics as Uriel.

"Yes," Castiel replied. "But I need to be stronger."

He closed his eyes and Dean watched as a glow seemed to emanate from his body. He caught sight of the angel's ribs mending underneath his skin and Castiel gritted his teeth. A few moments later, he opened his eyes. They were cloudy with pain. The angel noticed Dean staring at him.

"I healed my ribs, it was the most I could do at this time," he explained.

This brought Dean back to the present. "Can I, do you want anything? More water?"

"Rest..." Castiel murmured as his eyes closed once again.


End file.
